Lucky's Lounge /355 Congress Street Boston, MA 02210/ (617) 357-5825

This one is hard.  Mainly because I like Lucky's Lounge.  It's unique.  It's anti-Boston at times and oh-so-far-too-Boston at others.  I have experienced the good clean fun of a Sunday Sinatra Night and the Frat House Nightmare of a Friday and Saturday night.  I prefer Sundays.  Most people who have been there, I would say, have a special place in their heart for Lucky's, myself included, and that is why this is so hard.

Lucky's vaunted underground-esque entrance sans sign

Let's just say that the Lucky's Sinatra Brunch is one of the more talked about in Boston.  But once again, I have no idea why I listen to anyone when it comes to good food around this city.  This place was utterly, horribly, painfully disappointing.  The old schooly atmosphere of Lucky's is what makes it worth the trip.  Don't get me wrong, the music was good.  But the food...what the hell are you people doing?!?!  No, really.  You have a reputation to uphold for your own sake.  If you care, that is. Where to start?  The menu isn't bad.  Not a huge selection, but that in itself isn't exactly detrimental for a possibly hungover-ridden Sunday brunch. I chose the Steak&Eggs, which is almost always fail-safe.  I know, I know, skirt steak is not top sirloin, nor is it a cheap new york strip, as most steak&egg breakfasts tend to offer.  But hey, most people in the year 2011 know what to do to a skirt steak in order to make it exceptionally palatable. I was excited about the fresh squeezed orange and grapefruit juice and both myself and one of my fellow brunchers asked for the OJ.  I quickly changed my mind since I hadn't had fresh squeezed grapefruit juice in a number of years.  The sweet and smiley waitress/bartendress was happy to change my order for me, although she was quick to ask whether or not I would like a glass of ice with that, since the G-Juice came from a can.  Confused, I decided on coffee and water.  The aforementioned fellow bruncher stuck with his OJ, which, since we were sitting right next to the bar and could see all of the drinks being poured, mysteriously was poured into a glass from a gallon jug.  Now I like to give most people the benefit of the doubt, but is it really more efficient to pre-fresh squeeze OJ super early in the morning for an hour or two, or just wait for someone to order it to squeeze out all of that fresh goodness at that precise moment?  Something tells me that neither of those things happen at Lucky's for brunch.

Disclaimer:  The coffee at Lucky's is phenomenal.

That is what I was drinking, after all.  In the midst of noticing where the OJ came from, our breakfast was on the table.

Cold Hash Browns, Tiny Piece of Cold & Rubbery Skirt Steak, 3 Almost Warm Eggs

Most people would not complain about a lighting-fast-served breakfast.  But too fast is often too fast.  Either the staff at Lucky's is clairvoyant, or someone had ordered my breakfast 10 minutes before me and changed their mind like me with the freshly canned grapefruit juice.  Not only did this food come out too quickly but it was COLD AS SHIT, if shit were cold, that is.  And I do mean less than lukewarm.  The hash browns had good potential, if they had been warm.  Hot may have even made them impressive.  The "5 oz. Skirt Steak" was, in fact, a skirt steak.  But 3 ounces of meat would have been a vast exaggeration.  A cold, rubbery exaggeration. The eggs were actually still warmish.  I see why three eggs are offered, considering the false advertising as per the amount of steak.

 Instead of toast, I asked for a substitution of home fries.

OK, if any of you were like me when you were a kid, you were interested in cooking but had no clue what cooking was about.  Your first attempt at "home fries" may have very well been some semi-fried potatoes with a certain combination of every spice in the spice cabinet with the hope that they would be a masterpiece.  That is what these home fries tasted like.  A masterpiece for a 4 year old and a joy for the parents who gag and smile with every bite and don't bother trying to feed it to the dog under the table because they know it isn't worth the effort.

Homefries with everything including the kitchen sink and its dirty dishwater

Reportedly, the breakfasts of my constituents ranged from edible to fairly enjoyable.  Lucky dogs.  I mean, people.  I would have thought about trying some of theirs, but after the first bite of home fries, I was done eating for the morning.  Sadly enough, this $15, 2-3 oz., cold, rubbery skirt steak with 3 warmish eggs, cold hash browns, and inedible home fries, coupled with phenomenal coffee, made for a food experience that was in no way worth repeating.  Not to mention that we showed up just before the music started and the dining room wasn't yet 1/4 full.  Being too busy to make a decent meal wasn't an excuse for this epic failure.  One final note, that I wasn't able to cleverly fit it until now but wish I could have.  The drink list not only includes fresh squeezed orange and grapefruit juices, but some good looking morning cocktails.  I would really be intrigued by what the Lucky's Espresso Martini tastes like. Especially considering Lucky's doesn't have espresso.  Just saying.  Please don't hate on me for hating on Lucky's Lounge.  It is somewhere that I would bring an out of town friend to for a change of Boston pace.  Just not for brunch.  Get it together guys.

North Street Grill/ 229 North St, Boston 02113/(617) 720-2010

Finding a good breakfast restaurant in Boston is actually a whole lot easier than finding a decent Italian restaurant in the North End.  What?, you say.  Yes, that's right, I contest that most of the restaurants in the North End are actually not that good and that the best Italian in Boston can be found outside of the North End.  Make it a little better than Olive Garden, put it in "Little Italy" and the Midwesterners will come in droves.  Just make sure that you charge a whole lot more than the OG so you can continue to pay the rent.

The North Street Grill is an exception to the rule in this part of town.  And for good reason.  They actually stand out by not being an Italian restaurant.  I have only been here for breakfast, and hadn't been here for years, but always tell people that this is one of my favorite breakfast places in the city.  They wait was long on a late Sunday morning, but they gave us an idea of about how long it would be and we were able to head to Caffe Dello Sport for a quick espresso and a decent walk.  It is easiest to sit at the bar, which I most certainly prefer anyway.  The morning drink menu is pretty extensive, and I got something that had a cute name, but more importantly had a lot of different flavored rums and orange juice. and lemonade.  Awesome.  Puts a Mimosa to shame.  Just look.  You'll find it, name and all.  For food I ordered the Crab Omelet with Boursin Cheese, Chives, and Avocado.

Crab, Boursin Cheese, Chive and Avocado Omelet

Holy my #!@>#! was it good.  I almost never order Omelets, but all these flavors together looked sinfully covetous.  And they were.  As close to perfection as a breakfast can be that doesn't include bacon.  And the homefries were perfectly seasoned and homefried, which was surprising because they looked burned and overly seasoned.  They could have put a few more on the plate, for sure, but I am on a roll of not complaining.  The person next to me ordered Eggs Oscar (a.k.a. Asparagus Eggs Benedict).

Eggs Oscar

I may have tried some of that and it may have been wonderful too, especially the asparagus, which was grilled perfectly.  Impressive stuff man.  Impressive stuff.  Years ago I tried the Lobster Benedict, which was freakin' beautiful.  If you are near the North End on the weekend and would like some ridiculously good breakfast, this is the place.  I may see you there.  Give a shout.

Pleasant Cafe/4515 Washington Street Roslindale, MA 02131/(617) 323-2111

I don't know why I believe people.  Especially when those people include The Boston Globe, Boston Magazine, Phantom Gourmet, or TV Diner.  Almost without fail, if these outfits tell you that a place is worth going to or has the best such and so ever, you can pretty much guarantee that there is somewhere around the corner that is a lot better and probably cheaper.  But for some reason unbeknownst to me I still find my self reading what these people say and watching the unbearable idiocy of these TV shows just to find out names of places I have never heard of before and where they may be located.

The Boston Globe not too many weeks ago had an article, or whatever you call those slideshow things where they talk about food or "goings on" or "What are this year's Red Sox weaknesses?" or "Meet the new Celtics dancers", in which they had a list of the top 10 or 20 or 30 pizza places around, which included the Pleasant Cafe in Roslindale.  Now, this is a secret that I have never revealed to anyone and don't plan on revealing now or at anytime in the future, but the truth of the matter is that I am not much of a pizza eating individual.  However, I do enjoy a good dive bar and especially one that serves good cheap food.  I have written before about my affinity for places that you either did go to or would have gone to with your grandparents if you were or are lucky enough to have living grandparents.  If they were going to get out of the house, they were going somewhere that the food was good, cheap, and plentiful.  Just looking at the outside of Pleasant Cafe makes you think you have gone back in time a bit.

Blurry Neon on a Snowy April Fool's (Eve) Day Night 

They have an unconventional website with what looks like decent, reasonably priced food, so all signs pointed toward solidity (as is a solid choice).  Now I like some suspect places.  There are places I only go to alone because no one I know would be brave enough to eat the food.  I'll tell you this, if I had not decided that this was where I was eating and my friend had not agreed and almost coaxed me into it, I would have either turned around like I mistakenly walked into the wrong place or had a drink, paid the bartender, and bid farewell forever after without a second thought.  That wasn't exactly an option, however, so we got a menu and I hoped for the best.

The Pleasant Cafe isn't scary like "oh shit I hope I don't get stabbed" scary, but more like "wow, there sure are a lot of old drunks seemingly sleeping at the bar early on a Thursday night" and "do you think they wash the dishes here?" type scary.  If you will allow me to refer back to the Grandfolks theme again for a moment, The Pleasant Cafe stirs your memories of how great it was to hang out with the Grandparents when you were young but in reality is more like when you get older and go to your now only living Grandparent left's house and it smells bad and there are pee stains on your poor Grandparent person's pants.  May God rest their soul(s).  Ooohh, yuck, I'm sorry I had to put us through that.


The bartender was nice, as was the waitress.  For some reason we had to pay them separately for separate bar and food bills, but I have seen much stranger things at stranger bars.  The menu was sort of promising, and even in Boston I have never seen simply "Tonic" listed under "Beverages", but then, I'm also younger than 75 years old (and that is the only secret I will ever tell any of you) and I probably would have seen a menu or two in my day like that if I weren't.

So anyway, I ordered the BBQ Steak Tips with Fries and Coleslaw for $11.  Good deal, I say to myself, as long as it tastes good.  Bad deal, I say to myself, once I tried it.

Tasteless BBQ Steak Tips w/ Cole Slaw&Oil Marinated Potatoes (a.k.a. French Fries)

 The tips weren't BAD per se, they just were boring and pretty tasteless.  More oily than BBQy.  Not the worst quality, but they did nothing for me because they tasted like nothing.  The fries were like the fries you would get when you went to that one kid's house for dinner when you were young and didn't yet know what good food even was, but you somehow knew that taking that big honking bag of generic frozen french fries out of the freezer and dumping them in a pan of cold oil and waiting 35 minutes for the oil to get hot enough to bubble so you could wait another 25 minutes for them to get "cooked" was not the way french fries were supposed to be made.  The fries at PC taste like that.  The coleslaw was no better than the lower end of average and was the best part of the meal.  Service at the places I go to always takes a back seat to food.  You can treat me kind of badly as long as your food is good.  So I actually sort of feel bad telling the world how crappy the food is here, because the people that work there could have treated us any nicer, but this is not a blog about restaurant service, it is about food, and the food here is bad.  Needless to say, I can't see myself heading back here for a meal.  But if I am tired and locked out of my house some night soon, I'll know where to go to get a quick nap in.

Taqueria El Charrito/128 Pearl Street/ Chelsea, MA 02150

Not that solid.  Not awful, but considering the amount of competition in the immediate surrounding area, not much worth the trip either. Now I'll be the first to admit that I tend to limit myself at most Guatelsalvadorexican restaurants to the three tacos that I got here, but that's because A: I can't try everything on the menu everywhere I go and B: I happen to like chicken, steak, and lengua tacos. Especially tongue.  I like an occasional carnitas taco thrown in too, purely for its health benefits.  I also generally have a hard time with people that label what they are about to say (especially if the say "A,B, and 3" or "1,2 and C"), but I felt that it was quite appropriate in this instance.

Not great Steak, Chicken, & Lengua Tacos

Not great tacos minus one plus hot sauce

And for those of you that think I have tiny plastic taco pieces that I artfully put together a little bit differently in one of my standard take-out size styrofoam boxes that I keep in the closet for each one of these places that I claim to have visited, you are sorely mistaken.  I realize that tacos almost always look like tacos, but if you look at all of pictures I have posted, each place has its own subtle take on what the taco should be.  Take the radishes, for example.  Not every Guatelsavadorexican restaurant gives you radishes if you don't ask.  And I didn't.  I happen to love radishes with tacos, but that alone won't make me stray from my opinion that this place really doesn't have great tacos.  All the meat was drier than it should have been, except the chicken, which is odd.  Not much flavor to speak of, but it is almost as though they know that and give you their green hot sauce to fix that problem.  See I am most often of the opinion that the majority of places, however bad, have some sort of saving grace.  If they sold this green sauce by the bottle I would buy up a bunch of it for all the Mexican food that I don't know how to make.  It's REALLY good.  But, sadly, I would bring it around with me just to put it on other places' food.  Oh well.  You can't win 'em all.

Pita Mediterranean Cuisine/473 Albany Street/Boston, MA 02118/South End

For some odd reason, every time I drive by South End Pita I seem to be on the wrong side of the median and can't turn around to try it.  I have done this for at least a year, or however long it has been that they have been open.  I decided after breakfast that I would try this place for lunch.  This is how my brain works.  Always thinking about the next meal.

Falafel, Grape Leaf, Tahina Sauce and Salad

Chicken & Lamb Kabob w/Rice & Cabbage

There isn't a whole lot going on on the blocks that surround Pita.  It is directly next to 93, across from the lovely BTD Tow Lot, on the same street as Zapatos and The Boston Flower Market and that really nice looking soccer field. I mention this because it is actually pretty easy to get a parking spot here, unlike most other parts of the South End.  And for anyone that hasn't noticed, the new $1.25 an hour parking rate has already gone into effect.  Funny how quickly things can get done in Boston when the city decides it can make some money.  Yes, yes, I LOVE it here, don't worry.  I t must be the fact that it is the coldest day since January 22, 2005 that is wearing on me.  

So on to the food.

This place is good.  I like Middle Eastern food, but I haven't had any falafel in years.  Not sure why exactly, I just forgot about it, I guess.  I'm sort of glad I waited.  This falafel was perfect, granted, this is coming from someone who hasn't had any for awhile, but it was that nice deep-green-on-the-inside-golden-crispy-brown-on-the-outside type falafel.  I know, I know, I should have broken one in half and taken a picture, but I'll go back again soon.  Great flavor, well accented by the simple, light, tahina sauce on top.

As for the grape leaf, it was fine, good even.  I have an odd relationship with grape leaves.  They seem to me to be pretty much the same everywhere and never overwhelmingly good, but for some reason, you can tell a lot about a place if the grape leaves are better than just OK.  These were not too dry, not overly spiced, not overly lemony or olive oily, good, solid grape leaves (or leaf) all-in-all.  For a meal I got a little twist on one of the daily specials: Chicken and Lamb Kabob with Cabbage and Rice.  Good choice.  It wasn't knock you out amazing, but there was nothing bad to say about it by any means. The rice was white rice with a barely discernible amount of spice and yellowness, the meat was rolled in a simple, not to spicy-hot rub that seemed to be a mix of paprika and black pepper, and grilled perfectly, and the cabbage came served in a little bit of what seemed like tomato sauce with sumac and onions.  The latter was the most interesting part of the dish ("interesting" meaning "good"), but I would like to stress most of all just how beautifully the lamb and chicken were cooked.  And it was that type of lamb that you could introduce to your friends that don't like lamb and they might just change their mind.  I want to try more stuff here.  I didn't get to try the hummus, or the Moroccan Mint Tea, which you can get hot or iced, but the next time that I am on the correct side of the median and hungry, I'll be sure to stop again.  And this time I will get a pic of the inside of the falafel.  Finally, this is a much nicer place on the inside than it looks on the outside.  There are at least 4 or 5 tables in there and it is pretty cozy, not small cozy, comfortable cozy.  

Banh Mi BA LE Vietnamese Restaurant/1052 Dorchester Ave Dorchester, MA 02125

The Four Dollar Lunch.  Not too common, but that's why I'm here, to find these things for you.  Now let me be clear: Cheap≠Good.  Take Taco Bell, for example.  Point made.  Moving on, this four dollar lunch is actually quite good.  It can be found at at Banh Mi BA LE Vietnamese Food Place.  No, that's not exactly what it's called, but it is more than just a restaurant, but also not quite a restaurant restaurant considering there is not one seat in the place.

So I suppose it is a take-out spot, but with more than one kind of self-serve beef jerky by the pound in big plastic bins, tapioca pudding with yucca and banana, coconut dessert, flan, and green dessert things with bubble tea balls in them in the fridge (oh believe me, that is only the beginning as far as sweets in the fridge goes), sticky rice with pork and things wrapped in banana leaves, Vietnamese Sandwiches, noodle dishes of varying types, hot foods that include fried chicken and ginger chicken, fish dishes, pork and beef dishes, sausages, spring rolls, bubble tea, Vietnamese coffee, I could go on and on because it certainly doesn't stop there, but it really needs to be experienced to understand.  Let's just say they have a lot of bases covered without spreading themselves too thin because, quite frankly, they have run out of room to spread themselves any thinner.  I mainly go here when I realize that it has been two or three weeks since I have eaten a fruit or a vegetable and get the rice noodles with fried tofu, broccoli, green beans, celery, and whatever else they have decided to throw in for the day.  Noodles are served with either soy sauce sauce or fish sauce sauce.  

The shrimp spring rolls are nice and healthy (they offer sausage spring rolls too) and are served with peanut sauce or fish sauce sauce.  The spring rolls are $3 or $4.  They have been in the process of raising prices lately from "how the hell do they make any money at this place" low to just ridiculously low.  I would suggest the chicken wings over the breast.  This breast was pretty greasy, the wings not so much.  The ginger chicken picture does it very little justice.  This stuff is great.  $3 for a small order (the same for an order of wings) or $5 with rice.  The sticky rice is best, but they don't make it all that often.  So that is a lot to take in, I realize, but this little Food Place is a lot to take in in person too.  The good thing about Bahn Mi BA LE is that almost everything I have tried here is good to very good.  The bad, and there is little bad to say, is that even with the huge amount of stuff they serve, they won't necessarily have today what they had yesterday if you happened to like it.  Or the next day, or the next, or the same day next week.  But the good here outweighs the bad by a lot, and chances are that whatever you end up trying will be good.  On top of that, it is quite a sensory experience. 

Oasis Brazilian Restaurant /373 Main Street/Medford, MA 02155

Rice, Farofa, Fried Mandioca

Brazuka

I love this place.  No, I mean I really love this place.  If I have people coming in from out of town (even vegetarians), I take them to Oasis.


If friends of mine want to head out for a night on the town, that night more often than not starts at Oasis.  Even the most picky and difficult diners will enjoy a meal at Oasis. Whether you like meat, salt, potatoes, rice, fish, or vegetables, you will like Oasis.  Especially if you like meat and salt.

Potato salad w/carrots, peas, apples, rasins, and other stuff

Fried Banana

Oh, and if you are torn about what to do for dinner on a Thursday and think that watching Brazilian soap operas and listening to odd renditions of Cindy Lauper songs along with The Girl From Ipanema played on acoustic guitar, you are in for a night to remember. The drinks here, alcoholic or not, are great.  Coconut, papaya, cashew, guarana, beer, wine, Caipirinhas, smoothies, all sorts of odd and different things.  The menu is pretty big, and you can order from the menu or get the buffet, but I usually go for the Brazuka which is a choice of steak, steak, sausage, chicken, pork chop, sausage, chicken, steak, in any order, served on a sword.  Yes, a sword.  This meat sword is served with a ridiculous amount rice, farofa (fried cassava flour with bacon), fries or fried yucca, black beans and salad.  95% of the time you can substitute the potato salad for regular salad, as long as the potato salad hasn't run out for the night.  3 people can share a Brazuka, often with some food to bring home, for less than $20.  That's a hard deal to beat.  The only negative thing that I can say about Oasis is that if you order the steak raw, rare, or medium-rare, you are going to get a medium-well done steak.  Very seldom will you find any pink in the steak on the meat sword unless you really stress it to the wait staff, who, by the way, are always sweet and friendly.  Other than that, you can't beat this place.  Everything is always good.

Taco El Paso/ 15 Norwood Street Everett, MA 02149

Solid, consistent, almost West Coast Mexican food.  That's all I ask for.  Boston is considered a world class city, but solid Mexican food is wicked hard to find.  Truly.  Few and far between are decent taco joints (or for that matter, any Mexican-related joints).  Thankfully, we have a healthy population of Guatemalans and El Salvadorans, many with a pretty good feel for Mexican street food.  Most of these mainly faux Mexican restaurants are north of Boston, in Somerville, Everett, East Boston (yes, East Boston is the most northern section of Boston), Chelsea, and Revere.  My go to "I'm hungry and don't want to wait long for some seriously good, cheap tacos" is, and has been for quite some time now, Taco El Paso in Everett, MA.

3 Tacos: Chicken, Steak, Tongue

The pictures here are the pictures of what I get 90% of the time I go to T El P: Chicken (Pollo), Steak (Res), and Lengua (Tongue).  In that order.  Shoot me if you don't like lengua.  I love it and only order the other two for those wonderful readers that would only consider eating the two former meats and not the latter.  These beautiful tacos cost $2 or less (the lengua being the most expensive because, of course, it is the best) and can be garnished with onion, cilantro, pico de gallo, cheese, guacamole, sour cream, etc.....  I like to keep it simple: onions and cilantro with hot sauce.  In good Guatemalsalvadoran fashion, there is a lot more to choose from like burritos, huevos rancheros, rice and beans, fried banana, pupusas, fried yucca, chicharron, it all depends on the day.  I just prefer the tacos to anything else.  The chicharron is pretty good, although I prefer Dominican, Puerto Rican, or Columbian chicharron.  Central American chicharron tends to be less fatty and more salty in my humble opinion.  The pupusas are good, the rice just OK.  The tacos are the most economical, all things considered.

Fried Banana w/rice flour and cinnamon

I had dessert, which was good but not great.  Well-fried banana with rice flour and cinnamon inside.  Pretty good, it just had been sitting around for a while.  In the summer T El P usually has Hibiscus, Horchata, and some other form of refreshing drink.  Solid Mexican.  Good prices.  Nice people.  Certainly worth the trip to Everett.

Caribe Restaurant/Uphams Corner/14 Hancock Street/Dorchester, MA 02125

More often than not, even somewhere that you may not be that fond of has some sort of saving grace.  Other than Gary, Indiana, that is.  But even Gary probably has a decent barbecue joint or two.  Caribe Restaurant on Hancock Street in Upham's Corner had no such saving grace today.  Today was not the first time I thought about stopping here.  Parking is tough, and Yanet is not far away, but today I took the plunge.

Mondongo (the best of the bunch, believe it or not)

 What a waste of time.  This is a day that I have somehow dreaded.  I knew that it was inevitable, but my first really bad review of a restaurant was not something I was looking forward to.  Not only because I realize that running a restaurant is hard and some little shitbag talking badly about your restaurant is the last thing you want to deal with at the end of the day, but also because I have enough bad meals within the course of a week.  A purely horrible meal, although par for the course at some point considering this is a food review blog, is never a welcome prospect.  If I go to a Latin restaurant that I have never patronized, I know that at least trying the chicharron will make for a worthy trip.

Boring Chicharron

Even the chicarron at Caribe is boring and basically flavorless.


I didn't even have the urge to eat the pieces of fat and skin that I usually leave so that I can fool myself into thinking that the meaty part of the deep-fried fat back is some how perfectly fine, healthy cuisine.  I never leave all of them mind you, just 40-70%.  You can take what you would like from this review, since my main meal was bacalao and mondongo with rice and beans.  The majority of those that live in this country would touch neither bacalao nor tripe, but I happen to very much enjoy both of these delicacies.  After a very disappointing appetizer in the chicharron, I tried the bacalao, which tasted like it was cooked in either ketchup or Hunt's tomato sauce and nothing else. Except maybe some extra salt because it was rediculously salty.  Even after drowning it in hot sauce it was close to inedible.  And the rice was horrendously dry and flavourless.

Questionable Bacalao w/ crappy Yellow Rice

Keep in mind, that I walked in here at a little after 5 p.m. on a Friday.  You may want to show your A-game at dinner time on a Friday.  Just a suggestion.  I question myself as to why I didn't just walk right out without ordering, because nothing looked particularly good or fresh.  What looked the tastiest, and I hope that I don't regret this for the next 3 or 4 days, was the mondongo, so against any kind of intuition, I decided on that.  That may be akin to getting sushi late at night on a Sunday after an early evening blackout that National Grid is still working the kinks out of in an establishment that was suspect to begin with, but I hadn't eaten since 11, so I was hungry and not thinking straight.  The only good thing about the mondongo was the sauce it was in, but the tripe itself was stinkier than it should have been and had kind of a fishy taste.  Like I said, I hope I don't regret this for the next 5 or 6 days.  Gross.  That's my final verdict.  The food here is gross.  No way will I go back.  Don't bother.  I'd go back to Gary, Indiana before I'd ever bother going back here.

Besides, Yanet is right around the corner.  So don't waste your time here.

Yanet Restaurant/ 734 Dudley St./ Upham's Corner/ Dorchester, MA 02125

Sweet, sweet Yanet Restaurant.  It's in Upham's Corner.  The parking is more than tricky, and the traffic sucks at rush hour, but it is oh-so worth the trouble.  Crunchy, salty, meaty, fatty, chicharron is just the beginning.  The yucca here is perfect in every way, though minus the red onions.  Depending on the day, you can find 4 different kinds of rice.  I prefer the yellow rice with green peas, but yellow rice with sausage is a special weekend treat.  The bacalao at Yanet is tied for the best I have ever had.  Not only is it soaked perfectly, but the onions and peppers are fresh, crunchy, and a perfect addition to the feigned-fresh fish.  The baked chicken is tender,

Yellow Rice w/Green Peas, Bacalao, and Baked Chicken

moist, and substantial whether you order the $7 small or the $9 medium (this pic is of the $9 medium).  There is a lot more to choose from at Yanet, but I am addicted to the chicken and bacalao.  Stewed beef, chicken, pork, oxtails, take your pick.  If you are hungry, Yanet will not disappoint.  On top of the wonderful food, Yanet, the owner, is the sweetest abuelita you have ever met.  Go now.  Eat it.  It will make you happy.

Simard's Family Restaurant/501 Newburyport Turnpike (Rt. 1)/Rowley, MA 01969

Simard's Rt. 1

Simard's Family Restaurant and Seafood Village

There are a plethora of diners and breakfast joints that dot the North Shore of Boston.  I ended up at a wedding in Rowley a few weeks ago and upon waking up in the morning the only thing that was going to cure my nighttime fun-turned morning misery was a lot of bacon.  The woman at the hotel where I stayed was more than seemingly a local and when I asked where to go for breakfast she didn't hesitate in telling me that Simard's was obviously the only choice (and there are a lot of places to choose from in those parts) for anyone that knew anything.  It is not often that I take any one's word on whether or not food will be good in one place as opposed to another, but her surety was so convincing that I decided it was worth a shot.

Pepper, Onion, Tomato, and Cheese Omelette w/Homefries and Bacon

Wow.  Simard's is one of those places that you would have gone to with your grandparents if your grandparents had only know about it.  Breakfast is only the beginning here.  This is the type of place that you want to come back to because you are sure that the Prime Rib must be worth the trip up to Rowley for on a Friday night.  No, I didn't try the Prime Rib, but I am guessing that it is much better than average.  Now I'll get to what I had for breakfast.  These pictures are from the second time I ate here, because I simply had to go back again.  I had the same thing both times.  Granted, bacon is seldom bad, but the bacon at Simard's is some of the most memorable I have ever had.  It's so greasy and wonderful that I have a feeling the cooks actually deep fry it.  It's just that good.  The omelette that I ordered may very well have had 1/2 dozen eggs in it.  It was an odd mix of greasy wonder and super fresh and crunchy peppers, onions, and tomatoes.  Well, the tomatoes weren't crunchy nor were the 3 pieces of American Cheese, but this omelette would have been worth writing home about at half its size.  The home fries were thinly sliced, hand cut, not frozen potatoes with a hint of garlic, salt and pepper.  Simple but truly amazing.  The prices are ridiculously  low at Simard's, but my omelette wasn't exactly on the menu, so it was around $9 dollars for a huge wonderful breakfast.  I'm a sucker for good coffee, but there is a nostalgic place in my heart for bad coffee that can't possibly be drunk without tons of cream and sugar.  Sadly, no amount of cream and sugar could make this coffee taste good.  But they have Moxie, so who cares?  The food is good enough to balance out the lack of coffee (lack=don't even bother ordering it), and tea is a good substitute for coffee 2 or 3 times a year. I'll be heading back to try the Prime Rib sometime in the near future.

The King Restaurant/1894 Centre Street/West Roxbury, MA 02132

The King Restaurant

How do you not want to try a place with a name like "The King?"  All signs pointed to the food being good at this modest little spot on Centre Street in West Roxbury.  Pretty pictures of Lebanon on the walls, the entrancing Arabic Language music videos on the TV in the corner, and the two spits of Shawarma in the kitchen got my hopes up for one serious meal.  I wish I had better things to say about the food here because the guy running the place the day I went was nice as can be and extremely accommodating, its just that the food was, in a word: boring.

Lamb/Beef and Chicken Shawarma with Hommous, Pickles and 

Salad 

I realize that shawarma often lives or dies by the sauce that is put on it sopping through the pita bread, and I did get a meal and not a sandwich, but even pouring the tahina sauce on top of the overly dry and not-all-that-flavorful chicken, beef, and lamb didn't do much to help the overall experience.  Luckily, there are bottles of hot sauce on the counter that made the meat more bearable, but it only helped so much.  I count on the Lebanese to make the best hommous anywhere, but this hommous was more Greek that Lebanese--grainy, watery, and sorely lacking in tahini.  There is some good that goes with this story.  The pickles alone were almost worth going back for, the tomatoes seem to have been picked off the vine that day and the salad was quite lovely, but all in all the shawarma meal at The King is pretty disappointing.  I wouldn't refuse to go ever again if I were in the area, but I'm certainly not racing back anytime soon.  Although the music was pretty entertaining.

Cape Verdean Food/475 Dudley Street/Upham's Corner /Roxbury, MA 02119

"Restaurant"

There are times, albeit not often, that going to a restaurant feels similar to the IKEA commercial where the woman can't wait to leave the store and jump into her car as quickly as possible because after looking at the receipt she realizes that there is no way all of the stuff she just bought could have really been as cheap as it was.  That was how I felt today when I left the Cape Verdean restaurant in Upham's Corner which is called, conveniently enough, "Restaurant."  I will take a cue from President Obama and not comment on the wisdom of naming your restaurant "Restaurant".  Besides, judging a restaurant by its name would be analogous to a number of other things, none of  which I have the time or energy to think of or look up right now.  The point of the matter is that my absolutely beautiful dish (dish=styrofoam container) of Bacalhau, Cachupa, Seafood Rice, and Chickpeas weighed upwards of 6 1/2 pounds and cost me $8.50.  It would have been 7.50 but they charge $1 extra for seafood as opposed to chicken, beef or pork.

Bacalhau, Cachupa, Chickpeas, Seafood Rice

 Back in the day this place evidently had a much less clever name.

Disclaimer:  Anyone who spends any amount of time reading this blog will find that a lot of the restaurants I choose to dine in are not exactly your everyday pizza joint or sit-down/waiter type food establishment.  Where the vast majority of Americans go to lunch is not typically where you will find me.  Many of the places I go have no printed menu, no prices on the wall, and often no one that speaks much English.  With that in mind I will give the novice a rundown of what happens at "Restaurant" which is almost identical to what would happen in, let's say, a standard Dominican, Puerto Rican, or Salvadoran restaurant.  You walk in and everyone stares at you because you look like you are or could be lost and quite possibly scared that you will never make it out of the neighborhood alive.  You have already gotten over that because chances are you live up the street or drive by every other day.  I like staring back at everyone for an uncomfortably long period of time, but do so at your own discretion.  When you get to the counter there is a small cafeteria-type setup where the food has been prepared and is sitting in metal containers with covers and water underneath that is warm enough to keep the food steamy hot.  You choose a small, medium, or large plate (plate=styrofoam container) that are priced accordingly.  It's very interactive and quite a hoot when there is a language barrier.  You ask how much each size is and what you get with it.  Generally you get some sort of starch and two other entrees, but everywhere is different.  Many of these things you may have never seen before or understand what they are so sometimes you sort of have to go with it until you have been in a few times.  The very nice girl serving me spoke perfect English and no one stared today.  I was kind of disappointed to tell you the truth, mais c'est la vie.

I hate disclaimers.  This post is already too long, so let me sum up what I got.  Bacalhau, is Bacalao for you non-Portuguese (or Cape Verdean Creole) speakers, or Baccalà for the non-Spanish speakers, or dried salted cod for everyone else.  See, Bacalhau sounds much more elegant, doesn't it?  This is going to sound stupid, but the salt cod was a little too salty.  I ate it like it was ice cream because I love salt, but it did maybe need a few hours more of fresh water soaking.  Other than that, everything was perfect.  Cachupa is one of my favorite things to eat, mainly because you never quite know what will be in it.  It's pretty much hominy and whatever else the chef decides to throw in there.  Today's Cachupa featured white beans, beef (pork?), collard greens, and yams.  The chickpeas seemed like they were sauteed with a little onion and olive oil, and then there was the rice.  The Seafood Rice had mussels, calamar, and lobster in it.  There was lobster tail meat in the rice.  Need I say more?  There seemed to be some Krab (that famous California Roll "Crab") in the rice too, but I suppose these guys need to justify selling this food for so cheap.

Bacalhau Gomes Sa, Cachupa, Seafood Rice

I may find out the real name of this place sometime soon, but I would much prefer that its name really be "Restaurant."  Either way, it's great, cheap, and parking is pretty easy.  The only drawback as far as I can tell is that the food tends to be different every day.  That can be a plus for those of you that want something different seven days a week, but the Seafood Rice isn't made everyday, nor is the Bacalhau, and those dishes are the main reason that I have gone back once or twice.  Or three times.  The second food picture is actually what I was expecting to get today because I got it a little bit ago.  The Bacalhau is de-boned (and not as salty) and mixed with chickpeas and hardboiled eggs, and the Cachupa has no collard greens, yams or pork (beef?), and the rice had everything afore-mentioned plus shrimp.